Thursday, July 10, 2008

Low Maintenance Woman

Mr. Wonderful is a lucky man. First, I was willing to wait for years before getting legally married - although I have to say that my views on the involvement of government in marriage are a little biased against, so it wasn't that much of a hardship, but still. I mean, we knew we were married from the get-go. We just neglected to inform the government, pay a fee, and stand in front of a complete stranger and say words out loud. But I did want the party, and the ring. Second, I shop at the Salvation Army whenever possible. Third, I will relentlessly pursue a deal on a vacation, or a car, or what have you. Fourth, his lunch is made nearly every morning and neatly packed into his lunch box. Coffee is generally on tap as well. Fifth, I do not ask for flowers, tokens or jewelery (well, not with any regularity. I did ask for more diamonds last year, but twice in 17 years and the second time as a celebration for writing a blessed book is, IMO, not very often). If you are broke long enough, it becomes a force of habit to recycle baggies and tin foil, and slap the hands of people reaching for paper towels when there's a drawer full of rags. This is not to say I am without cost - I have a cell phone, and I did demand satellite internet and a car that shifted when I told it to. However, taken as a whole I am cheap as heck and darn proud of it. It helps that I spent the majority of my childhood surrounded by Depression-era women and most of my adult life living hand to mouth, or worse. I think he must know how lucky he is, because Monday he came home with a present for me, something he knew I coveted deeply, the ultimate gift for the woman who beats her former type A self into submission on a regular basis yet dreams of a spotless house and cupboards that rival those in "Sleeping With the Enemy". A LABELER OF MY VERY OWN!!!I made a label. This was the first. And I think there is a gesture under that hat (he hates being photographed) but we'll ignore it because we are SO happy to be able to LABEL EVERYTHING!! I made more after this, but I won't force you to sit through a series of images of labels announcing things like "CAT", "DOG", "BIKE", "CHAIR", etc. Now that the (stinking, gross, 88% humidity, only a lizard could love this) weather has relaxed it's grip, I can spend the weekend labeling everything in my kitchen. I cannot wait. Can-Not-Wait!!
I sat in the basement and waited for the heat to go away, and worked on this while I did so. See, I can't tell you what it is yet. But soon. Very soon. Just, trust me...it's so awesome! I am going to start Flow for myself today, hopefully completed before Mr. W. and I go to NY.
Oh. Girl is officially going away to college in the fall. This is a good thing, but a sudden decision, so we're all adapting. We'll make it work. We're not sure exactly how yet, but we're going to make it work. She's gonna be awesome!
I broke a toe yesterday. It was...interesting. Boo got up and came over for love, and I was petting him and walking at the same time (in a bit of a rush, really, heading for the sandbox), and he was blocking this large base on a partition in the basement. I felt it hit, baby toe, left foot. I heard a craaack. So did he, and he jumped. So now I have a 100+lb nervous dog between me and the bathroom, in a fairly tight space. And if I freak him out by, say, screaming, it is likely that he'll step on the toe, or the other foot, or something that will likely result in my being hurt more, or might just scare the daylights out of him, which is never a good thing. So I reverted to Mommy form, calmly spewing monologue, "Well. That is pretty painful, if I do say so myself. Yes, indeed. So, Boo, can you move, so momma can get by you? Because, you know, momma's pretty sure she's about to howl and you're going to be pretty scared if you don't move sweetie..." There may have been swearing in there. Yeah, probably swearing. Within an hour or so it was all puffy and gross. Today it's less gross. I'll tape it to it's next neighbor and move on. Baby toe, phew. Could have been much worse.
Chicken news - I ordered a dozen eggs from eBay (who knew???). I got 6 Welsummers and 6 Auracanas. If this works out, we'll order more of a larger breed in the spring; I am hoping for Delawares which are one of my favorite breeds. Or I'll just order chicks. The plan is to expand the chicken outfit and have two houses; one for layers, one for dual purpose birds (that means meat for those of you who are not in the know - the squeamish may make faces now).
The brown are the Welsummers, the blue are true Auracanas, not the Ameraucanas we've got now. Auracanas are adorable, true tufted, rumpless birds with big mustaches. They lay blue. The Welsummers lay a rich terracotta colored egg. I put them under Eleanor and put another dozen in an incubator that Girl bought me (I love these people. Perfect gifts for mom: labeler and incubator). After about 36 hours of faithful egg-sitting, Eleanor looked around her, tipped her chicken-head and said "Hey. Wait a minute. Didn't I just Do this?? This is DUMB. I don't want to SIT here for three more stinking weeks. Hatch your OWN eggs, lady!!"So now we're got an overstuffed (not really, but it feels it) incubator in my office, right next to:
five old babies. Ancient!! SMELLY!! Soon to be moved outside to a brooder house with a heat lamp and more space!! Note: four heads are carried fairly low. One head is up above the rest, looking intently at the camera. File this under "How to tell hens from roosters". Also - um - the girls are all starting to get odd little puffs on top of their heads. This is not bad in and of itself. It does mean their father is probably Bedhead. And it means they may have...uh...bedheads. Hope that's ok with Mr. and Mrs. Betsy. Especially since they're not pure-breds? This may be the most bizarre looking group of hens ever. You can still change your minds, and see what comes from the next hatch. But I say, go big or go home. Who wants normal looking hens when you can have something truly spectacular?? The talk of the neighborhood! And Polish lay like banshees, as a rule. Eccentric is totally the new cool. Right...?

6 comments:

chickenbetty said...

labeler = awesome = awesome hubby
dog+obstruction = broken toe = suck(ouch)

The knitting looks great - can't wait to see what it is. Please tell girl that I'm super excited for her and she should e-mail me so we can keep in touch. On the chicken front, I am a big fan of mutts, in all species, it keeps us all healthier.

Kristi said...

I was kind of surprised there wasn't a label on the knitting. :)

Oooh. Blue eggs! Chicks!

Dragonfly said...

you are now going to have to label all the stash!

broke that same toe earlier this year when I kicked a chair (not purposely). Nothing at all to do beyond the taping.

Those are going to be some interesting looking chickens

Yarnhog said...

You ordered EGGS on eBay?! Wow. That wouldn't have occurred to me.

So sorry about the toe! I broke the baby toe on each foot only a few months apart five years ago, the first one on the step stool up to my bed and the second on the leg of the kids' table. I know that "craaack!" sound all too well. Hurts like bloody hell! Try wearing hard soled shoes or sandals for a couple weeks, like wooden soles or low platforms or Danskos. It helps a lot if your foot doesn't bend while you walk.

Kathy said...

After 12 days in Florida and thinking it was pretty comfy, our brilliant warmth and humidity here was sort of like a break. Yes, today is gorgeous, but yesterday was not terrible. I am a lizard and I am damn proud.

Cute chicks. Big OUCHIE for the toe. Been there, done that too, except I couldn't even swear since the kids were 5 feet away when it happened. Tape and move on is the best remedy.

tina said...

sorry about your toe dear, how is it????

And lastly, I agree with YarnHog, you bought EGGS on ebay????

gtfouttahere!!!!!!!!!!!!!