(com)Passion

I find the development and evolution of self to be endlessly compelling. What I have often lacked in spite of a fair dose of self-awareness is the development of true self-compassion. I like to keep myself on the coals, so to speak; to hold myself accountable for both the things I have done and the things I could have prevented, and sometimes even things that have absolutely nothing to do with me, but if I can get a creative enough angle, I can MAKE them about me. Once hung and pilloried, with the blood of martyrdom coursing down my face, I internalize my shame and keep myself humiliated; bad, wrong, failed. I am, after all, a Horrible Human Being.

Or am I?

In most (dare I say all?) religion there is an element of compensation for "sin". In Christianity in particular those sins are hung on Jesus, who takes the abuse for us and thereby allows us to live free and clear, coming forth "white as snow" or "sinless". Go, and sin no more. Some have taken this idea to it's extreme - "If Christ is in me, I cannot sin. Therefore what I do, I do without shame." This same philosophy seems to infect the minds of radical Muslims flying into certain buildings, or kidnapping and raping into subjugation young women, or blowing up perfectly nice villages. Oh wait. That was us...

But I digress.

The primary piece if information that I believe we are supposed to glean from religion or a spiritual path is really more about self-compassion. Learning to see our failings, fallings, "sins" (and those who have sinned against us); learning to accept our collective fragile humanity, and then - and this is the part where I think most of us miss the boat, let the boat go, shove the boat way, way far away - not in the sense of denial, but from the perspective of liberation - CHANGING. GROWING. LEARNING.

This weekend we went to Charlotte VegFest, which was an amazing thing for me on a lot of fronts - certainly preaching to the choir, but there's always new songs to learn. We listened to a few speakers - most notably Dr. T. Colin Campbell (swoon) about whom I will speak in a later post. But for now I want to focus on the idea of compassion, expanding on it's presentation by Shabaka Amen, who was the first speaker of the day, and who said something that stuck with me: "You cannot be passionate about animals until you are compassionate to yourself". This may not be an exact quote, but that isn't the point. The point is that unless we are able to be compassionate with ourselves - really nitty gritty down and dirty open and honest about what we are and how we could be better, we cannot be truly, deeply passionate - or compassionate - about "others" (animals, people, bugs, etc).

That thread from that morning speech bled into the rest of my day. Ronnie Tsunami mentioned, in his talk, a few documentaries that I had not seen before (and here I thought I had them all covered!). Specifically he mentioned Earthlings, which he said he got about ten minutes into before converting to veganism. After last night I know why. I don't recommend it unless you know yourself to be self-compassionate, because your complicity in what you see on the screen could have you needing therapy or possibly an inpatient stay. How bad is it? Well. It had me up for a couple of hours trying to figure out how to feed my carnivorous pets ethically. That bad.

But again, I digress.

Near the beginning of Earthlings the screen is alight with quotes, some known, some not. One that stuck with me was this:

The Stages of Knowing:
1.) mockery
2.) violent opposition

3.) acceptance

That's what I woke up with in my head today, questioning, ruminating. Where am I on that scale? Am I truly accepting? Am I externally compliant and internally mocking or opposing? Am I justifying the actions of myself and others, which I think might be in-between opposition and acceptance?

In further research this morning, I came across the work of William G. Perry, an educational psychologist who developed a detailed theory (The Perry Scheme) of intellectual and ethical development in college students, the framework fo which is a nine-step progression from dualist thinking ("right is right and wrong is wrong and that's that!") to relativist thinking ("right and wrong change with perspective and awareness") to commitment ("I believe this or that, but I am open to learning and changing as I go.")

Further (extremely) simplified, those nine stages or progressions become something, from what I have read so far, like this:

1.) The Garden of Eden:

In this phase, we believe a thing is true because we have been told that it is true. This is your basic garden variety religious or cultural education and inculcation. At times there are dualities within the scaffolds of our assorted indoctrinations, but they are usually justified or explained away by some intellectual sleight of hand. Think: "Mommy, if God said don't kill, why are we at war?". The adults fabricate some rationale, vaguely aware that they are spewing bullshit, or perhaps truly believing the righteousness of the cause, depending on where they are in their own journey of self-awareness and development. Also in this category are such nuggets as "But Pastor said..." and "The government entity knows best." The corollary from Earthlings would be mockery. I now what I know, and what you know is wrong. Idiot.

2.) Anything Goes

This phase is where I think most of us get stuck. In this phase, we are deeply - maybe unconsciously - aware that there are no right answers, that right and wrong are entirely dependent on the perspective of the individual - but in order to conceal this little fact from ourselves we engage in denials and justifications for our thoughts and behaviors that range from deeply held religious beliefs to strong secular attachments to any bloody effing thing that keeps us from looking at the thing that makes us culpable, PLEASE DEAR GOD DON'T LET ME SEE. This I think brings us - this need to keep the self unaware and "innocent" of who/whatever's blood, to justify our actions - to the point of violent opposition. We are the most adept at denial, and will use whatever skills come to hand to indulge that denial.

3.) Critical Thinking

Or, you know, acceptance. If I objectively and without rancor to self or others evaluate the facts and the sources of those facts, then I am able to approach all new information with an open mind - a mind that seeks knowledge and awareness, a mind unafraid of change and unafraid of truth. The alternative is, of course, a mind that continues to be slapped shut and rejects all new information that might result in expansion of awareness and understanding.

You cannot progress to acceptance without self-compassion.  If I am truly forgiven, if I am truly and deeply compassionate with myself, then the new information is not a threat. It is merely a window that lets more light into my world and clarifies my beliefs and awareness.

Stay tuned...

I Love This City

It seems strange when I think on it, that just a few short years ago I had never been to Manhattan, and was really downright afraid of it. I remember my first trip when I was shepherded around Book Expo by Amy Greeman, then acting in the role of handler/quasi-publicist, later to act as my actual publicist. She even did an entry here on this blog that I had forgotten.

I must have some mad city adaptation skills, because on this trip into the city for Vogue Knitting Live I popped out of Grand Central on Vanderbilt Avenue, crossed 45th to 5th, and headed uptown toward the Hilton without even checking my phone to see if I was going the right way. After checking in, being stalked by Carol while trying to leave the check-in desk (the official MMO stalker - accept NO substitutes!), and depositing my bag in my room, I headed out to find a snack and see some sights.

I found Radio City Music Hall.

And the Ziegfield Theater.

And the Radiance Tea House, with which I fell madly in love.

It may have been that the place is charming, or it may have been that I got on the train sans lunch and it was now approaching 5pm and I was something like starving. I ordered a delightful repast of homemade miso soup, sticky rice in a lotus leaf, and Hojicha tea. The tea is a slightly lower in caffiene green tea that's roasted to give it "a delicious earthy flavor with notes of cedar...". It was very very good.
I wandered a little more - to Central Park for a walk, and then I headed back to the hotel to get an early night, stopping along the way for the essentials of life - an emergency banana and apple - very handy in case of starvation.
The next morning we had an early teacher's meeting, which was really just a time to sit in a chair and breathe the same air as the knit-and-famous Knitterati. It was also a time to catch up with friends that I really only "see" mostly online. We got our room assignments, attendance sheets, and a run-down of the plans for the weekend.
When I travel to events like this I always worry that students will not be happy - that I will bite off my tongue, that they won't get what they came for, that I will not give them what they need. Particularly before the first class I get kind of freaked. I was so freaked, in fact, that I had the wrong materials with me. I raced back up to my room, and then to my classroom. My classes were in a converted guest room, which was a little tight, but we made it work. 14 people assembled to learn how to knit Toe-Up 2-at-a-Time Socks. We worked diligently through the morning session, and they made excellent progress. They were really excellent students. Focused and responsive, and I didn't spend hardly any time yelling at them - some classes can feel more like herding cats than teaching knitting. We're knitters and social by nature, so there's a lot of talking and sharing. Part of my job is keeping everyone focused. I tend to tell stories, which at least ensures that everyone is listening to me, so that when I need their attention, I already have it and don't have to yell over the voices of 15-30 excited knitters. Eventually I will run out of stories, I suppose, but for now it works.
At lunch time I headed out to the street to find something I could take back to the classroom with me. I like to be in the room during lunch in case students have questions or problems, so lunch needs to be quick. I found quick and YUM all in one - my official new favorite Halal Guy.

I love Halal carts. I love street food in general. I think that if I were young and could eat bread I might love hot dog carts in New York better. Or maybe not. I love the flavors of rice and veg and white sauce and hot sauce and cumin and the faint whiff of cinnamon all happily mixed up in my tin plate. And really, where else can you get "too much lunch" for $5?
I took my lunch back to my classroom (an action I would repeat all three days) and ate and rested for a bit until students returned. The afternoon session went smoothly, and by 4:30 I was fledging new 2-at-a-Time sock knitters into the halls of the Hilton and into the world beyond - good will sock ambassadors now who will assist in my goal of World 2-at-a-Time Sock Domination.
At 7:30pm there was a "Purls and Prosecco" reception for students and teachers. And I made a decision. Why not stalk Carol? I mean, every time I see her she's stalking me, and it really looks like it might be kind of fun. Don't you think? Following around a member of the Knitterati, taking pictures when they least expect it? Bribing hotel staff to give you a pair of undies or a few hairs from the hair brush for your attempts at voodoo? Serious fun, I think.

See, I told you. FUN! At the reception I saw more knitters I haven't seen in a while, and got to meet some new ones - I finally met Franklin (who, I must confess, is much shorter than I expected him to be, which was actually quite reassuring to my 59 3/4" self), and saw Iris Schrier of Artyarns. She has a yarn that I am over the moon for - cashmere and a bit of sparkle and silk that just makes me so very happy! I have a sample here that I spent some time swatching last evening. It's quite delicious. But more on that another time. After a glass of wine I realized that what was really missing from my day was dinner. Since it was 9pm, I headed out to find something, and then took myself to bed so I would be alert for my students on Saturday morning.
Saturday's class was also made up of excellent students who were really focused on learning. This was top-down day, and by the end everyone seemed to be pleased with their progress - I know I was!
I headed out for a walk, knowing that this was my last evening in the city. I didn't really have a plan. First I stumbled across Elmo.

Elmo is certainly larger than I would have expected. In fact I would think that an Elmo of this size would freak the dickens out of the average preschooler, but what do I know?

And then I found myself in Times Square, surrounded by sparkle and glitter and shopping.

It was very cold, and getting colder, so I headed back toward the hotel, stopping on the way for a snack. In the lobby I ran into Ron and Theresa Miskin of Buffalo Gold, and was able to show them the shawl I designed with their Moon yarn and Webs beads. It was supposed to be done in time for Brendon and Selina's wedding. Now I am just hoping it's done by spring. It's an easy knit really, but until this book is completely done and put to bed I experience disruptions in the construction.
On Sunday morning I dined on Fage yogurt and a banana from the 53rd Street Deli, and a cup of coffee from Starbucks. It's strange that when I travel I try to avoid chains, with the singular exception of those white cups with their green and black logo. The predictability reassures me I think.
My Sunday class, a second round of Toe-Up 2-at-a-Time Socks, was filled with yet another excellent group of learners. By Sunday we were all beginning to feel the effects of the exciting weekend, but even so everyone seemed to take to the method. Promptly at 4:30 we headed for the door. I am very grateful to them for this - often a class will run significantly over with questions, but they respected that I needed to head for the train station in a bid to be home by 9pm.
I raced for the front door, and a cab line. Normally I don't do cab lines, but this time it seemed best. I got an excellent driver.

Best cab driver in New York, or at least for that moment he was. He got me to Grand Central (admittedly not a long drive, but still!) in plenty of time for me to catch not the 5:34 train, but the 5:07!  Those extra few minutes may not sound like a lot, but after a long weekend and facing a 2 hour train ride and a 2 hour drive they sounded important to me right then.

I was on the 5:07 with minutes to spare. I settled into my seat and checked again on the weather reports for this area. Cold, it said, dangerous cold. In New Haven I took a cab to the parking garage on Temple Street. Between the dark, my being alone, and the frigid temperatures it seemed like the best option. It was by then beginning to feel dangerously cold.
I made it home at 9pm, and was welcomed back with a hot meal and an open bottle of wine. Don't we just love Mr. Wonderful now?
By morning the thermometer had plunged to new depths for 2011. It was -20 degrees for most of the morning.

When I did chores at noon the bucket handle got stuck to my hand, and as I stood there breathing on it to warm it and recover my hand, I found myself questioning my sanity. Chicken farm. Really? Well. OK, I guess. I only think this in winter. looking at that thermometer gives me heebie jeebies. Tonight is expected to be clear, but then we're anticipating more snow, possibly another 12 inches.
All of this makes me long for vacation, which isn't for another week. Warm Florida sun, I cannot wait to bask in your glow.
Vogue Knitting Live is rumored to be heading for Los Angeles in September. If you're on that coast, I recommend it - it's a great opportunity to meet and learn from some amazing knitters! I have but one regret from my whole experience. I had wandered through the market on Friday with the clear intention of returning to get  at least one set of Signature Circulars before the end of the event. I never did make it back. Luckily there is always online ordering. And just maybe I have a birthday coming up, hint-hint dear family!

I Love Books, Not Just My Own.

First I do the whole disclosure thing here - yes, some books come to my door in boxes that I didn't pay for. The two books I am reviewing today are such as those. I am not paid to review them beyond the 'free book' part of the deal, and I will not review any books I don't like. If I like it, you'll see it. If I don't, you won't. The people who send me the books know this. Occasionally they send me a book I love and I forget to review it right away and then time passes and I get busy and I forget which one I was supposed to review, but that's more a personal problem, really. I was just sharing. These two are unforgettable, and not just because I am as the writer of 2 sock books and a collector of same.
The first, Toe-Up Socks for Every Body - Adventurous Lace, Cables and Colorwork from Wendy Knits by Wendy Johnson is a truly stunning collection of beautiful toe up sock information and design.

There is marvelous breadth and depth here. From the encouraging "Basic Information for Sock Knitters" which inspires you to begin modifying and designing socks, through a stunning series of patterns, culminating in a detailed technique section with clear images and instructions for multiple cast-on and heel applications, this book does not fail to impress. I have a particular love of twisted or traveling stitches and cables, and there are socks in this book of that ilk that nearly take my breath away. I was particularly struck by the beauty of the Diamonds and Cables Socks and Crocus Socks. I tend to avoid colorwork in my personal knitting life; I am not sure why this is, unless it stems from a childhood of various Red Heart intarsia and colorwork 1970's atrocities. In fact this would be my guess - one too many loopy hats in something brightly ombre, or vests with large ladybugs or owls yanked over my then 7 year old head may have left a rainbow of scars. Yet I am lustful over Wendy's lovely Norwegian Rose Socks. Brilliantly designed and beautifully photographed, this book is a must-have for any sock knitter.

The second book, The Sock Knitter's Workshop - Everything Knitters Need to Knit Socks Beautifully by Ewa Jostes and Stephanie van der Linden truly lives up to it's name.

From discussions on yarn, needles and tools required the books transitions to the basics of sock knitting; numbering double pointed needles, knitting a swatch (always a topic near and dear to my heart), clearly photographed and explained increase and decreases, Kitchener stitch - it's all here. This is a must-have book for beginning sock knitters and fledgling sock designers. Casting on and getting started with double points is covered in a way that gives knitters a choice between a single needle cast on or a multiple needle cast on (the method I use myself when knitting with double points). Multiple cast-ons and variations for cuffs are presented from basic to decorative (and adorable!). Heels and toes are approached in the same fashion - many options so that knitters can choose for themselves. The focus of this book is really top down, but directions are supplied for toe-up knitting as well. Time is given to knitting socks on circulars, as well as flat or back and forth techniques to take your socks in new directions. The book culminates with a section featuring 15 patterns, each rated according to difficulty using a yarn-ball scale as a guide. New to socks? Start with a one-ball pattern such as Babies' Socks - a great way to step into socks without the commitment of a large scale project. Looking for a challenge? Choose the 3-ball Mosaic Pattern. If you've not tried socks yet, this would be a great way to dip your toes in.

Unless of course, you want to jump in headfirst, in which case I know of a couple of books that might be of interest, but maybe I am biased.

Speaking of me (such ego), things are gearing up for a wild few weeks here. I will be on the Webs Ready Set Knit podcast with Kathy and Steve this week. It will air locally Saturday at 9am on 1400/1250 AM, or you can download it at iTunes after the show airs. Also on Saturday I will be teaching the first ever open to the public (but it's full now, so don't bother trying to get into it) Toe-Up 2-at-a-Time class at Webs. On Monday, a package of bees will arrive at Mr. Wonderful's place of work, and we'll pop them into our second hive. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? On Tuesday there will be 50 fluffy chicken butts in a cardboard box at my PO at some ungodly hour. On Thursday May 6th at Webs there will be an evening gathering to celebrate the official launch of Toe-Up 2-at-a-Time Socks, complete with nosh and champagne and chit-chat and signing of books. Please come if you can, but register first with customer service by calling 1-800-FOR-WEBS or emailing customerservice@yarn.com. There's no fee to attend, but a head-count is a good thing - it simply would not do to run out of champagne now, would it? I'd love to see you there - really I am just perpetually neurotic that my various hosts will buy cookies and bottles of bubbly and boxes of books and then no one will show up and I will feel bad that they invested time and money in me, so please come and drink something or eat a cookie and definitely buy a book so that I can relax a little. On May 9th I will be wandering aimlessly at the NH Sheep and Wool with my husband who will be buying me yarn and raffle tickets and lamb and things - if you see me and you have a book and want it signed, I do travel with a Sharpie! Don't be shy, unless I have my mouth full of lamb, in which case if you could wait till it's empty that'd be nice. On May 22nd a Toe-Up 2-at-a-Time class will be held at Metaphor Yarns in Shelburne Falls, and then on the 29th of May I will be at the Massachusetts Sheep and Wool in Cummington, signing book at Foxfire Fiber's booth again. I love signing for Barb. Sitting there surrounded by all that luscious yarn and fiber. Mmmm. Then we get into June when I'll be everywhere from Rhode Island to Ohio and Virginia and home again. On June 26 and 27th there will be two 2-at-a-Time sock classes at Webs - one tops down and the other toe up. And then in July...in July I will be on my deck in the sun taking a nice long nap to recover from May and June!
Keep knitting, and hope to see you out there!

Socks and Things

The other day I went uphill to gather eggs and get the mail. I put this off because it was snowing, and although the dogs love this, and cavort like children, I am not a big fan.I got the mail and the eggs, and headed back to the house with my elated canine companions and saw this.I was standing at the top of the hill in a swirl of falling snow and darkness. And as I stood and waited this sun and blue sky crept slowly over me until the clouds fell away.
I haven't talked a lot about "the Lyme thing" in a while, and I think it's time for an update. The metaphor of that blustery snow wasn't lost on me. It's how I feel. I feel like for the last year or more I was wrapped in dark stormy gray, in a swirling fog of people and places and events and moments. I struggled every day to make sense of the simplest things. I hid things, I sneaked, cheated, lied and maneuvered so no one would know how bad it was. There's things I barely remember, things I don't remember at all, and days I remember and wish I could forget. The first time I logged on to LymeNet and saw that the first posts in the forums were suicide hotlines, I cried. Yes, when it's bad, Lyme is that bad. You lose all hope.
But then the sun came for me in the form of Lyme guy and his lovely meds, and now months later I am at times amazed to be alive, and thrilled to be happily so. For a long time my goals were really simple - "make being alive not hurt" was a good one. "Make being alive not scary" was another. I've raised the bar, and I feel safe doing so. "Make being alive feel wonderful again". And it does.
The irony here is that I don't take drugs or visit doctors. I will stand on the street corner on my soapbox and rant loudly about the overuse of antibiotics, the rapid development of antibiotic resistant organisms, the need for the human body to fight things off on it's own thereby developing new immunities. I will wait until hell is about to freeze over before I will darken a doctor's door. But I went, and I took the scripts, and I am glad I did.
Since spring I've taken Biaxin, Plaquenil, Mepron, doxycycline, metronidazole and a whack of supplements and probiotics. And although I had qualms about the first five, I am forever grateful that I was sick enough to say yes to them, and grateful that they were there when I needed them. I know there are people out there suffering with Lyme, wondering if it gets better, wondering if alive can feel good again. Trust me, it can. I promise. I just needed to say that today.
I swatched the other day for a special sock pattern for someone else's bookI think I love it. It will be toe up. The yarn is Dye Dreams Classy Sox and I love it, too. I believe feet deserve a little cashmere. The percentage is low enough that it's like a little sneaky treat and the nylon keeps it stable. This yarn was supposed to be something completely other, but circumstances change, and yarn calls out to me, and that's the end of that!
I also did these for Clover, which will be available at TNNA and hopefully thereafter...I will let you know when they're available and how you can get the pattern.The yarn is Valley Yarns Franklin. That you can get now. It is dyed, as I've said here before, by Gail Callahan who has not only the distinction of being brilliant, lovable, and an excellent friend, but now is a published author as well! Her book, Hand Dyeing Yarn and Fleece, is so pretty and so good...it makes me happy just to think about it! She doesn't remember, but the first time I met her was when she was still a nurse and I was still a nursing student.
This catalog came today. I first found Kitchen Krafts catalog when I was dabbling in baking and considering doing that for a living. As I recall I was on a quest for a tiny ice cream scoop and ended up with a $200 order containing all manner of good things from sanding sugars to a decent candy thermometer. Baking for money was a quickly discarded dream. I enjoy baking, but baking in bulk loses it's appeal. Small batches for family and friends feel rightRegardless, this catalog is loaded with all manner of things kitchen-y.
Like canning jar labels. I've debated making my own. But when these are right here, well...do I need to make them?And this. No clue where my jelly and juice strainer frame went, although the bags are here, but I am getting over tying and stringing and hanging cheesecloth from the frame of my ancient food grinder. I think it's time to break down and order this.Flip a few more pages and I find what's possibly the perfect cake pan for this house - a Nordic Ware Beehive!I am so grooving on the tiny fondant bees. Need! The only thing better would be a pan that somehow incorporated a barn, chickens and a beehive! Kitchen Krafts also sells essentials like dessicated coconut. Trust me, you need some.
In my pre-holiday cleaning spree I discovered this - a Baby Surprise set of sorts, EZ's sweater, MMO's out of my head bootees and hat.I think I started these for Wyatt and then remembered that he's a machine wash only baby, and this is a hand wash only yarn. Into the box it goes. If Meg ever had a baby it's going to have years' worth of woolens awaiting it.
Obsessed, I ended up with three hats and four pair of mittens, none alike. One hat is a knit-purl combination, one is cabled. The brown set I think will be Emily's, and the others will go to April.I realized I hadn't knit anything for Em and Wyatt...I have yarn to make a set for him too.
The holidays are mostly over for us. We'll have a day with my father and my kids, and then someday we'll get together with Kristie and Mike and the kids, maybe before Em's birthday, but it's winding down. The tree is put away, baby Jesus is back in His box, and this year I remembered to take the beads down from the dining room light fixture.
I wish I could say that 2009 was a great year. The truth is 2009 was a conflicted year for me - 2-at-a-Time Socks continued to be great, and I continue to be grateful to you for making it so, I got to be a part of Sock Summit (and was on the antibiotics by then which made that experience so much better than it might have otherwise been) and Clara's Knitter's Review Retreat, and taught at a host of shops. But somewhere in there I fell apart. I pulled it back together, but the falling apart was the scariest thing I've ever been through, and so I can't slap 2009 on the back and thank it for coming around. Heading into 2010, I am reaching out with open and welcoming arms. Toe-Up 2-at-a-Time is coming soon, and I am looking forward to a better year than last. Looking forward. I'm grateful to be here to do just that.

Recent Knitting, A Recipe, and A Promise of More to Come

I've decided that random blogging is the only way to go here. The level of commitment required to maintain a blog at the pace of an entry a week or an entry a day or whatever is just too much for me. So, this time it's ten days? Eleven? But that's ok, I hope. It has to be really. Things have been flying by so that when I have "down time" I spend it doing something very mindless. Blogging, sorry guys, requires organization of thought and of image that I just don't have the energy for. I think the Lyme thing taught me, if nothing else, that "No" is an ok word to say. So I am here, sporadic, distracted. But that's just who I am and how I roll. No apologies. (Ignore me. I am so, so sorry that I am such a blogger slacker. SO sorry. But I am making my peace with it).
I have been knitting. I made a Brambling for April.The sleeve caps as written needed a bit of tweaking - a warning to those who might want to knit this adorable little cardigan - whether this is a result of my yarn choice, row gauge differences, or just a little boo-boo in the writing...it matters not. I "did the math" based on my row gauge and re-wrote the sleeve cap. If you're knitting this for your beloved girl-child, be sure to check your row gauge and be aware that changes may need to be made.
I started a Raven for Aidan, and it is adorable already.I modified it so that I could work the body in the round; more mods will be forthcoming I am sure. Both of these patterns are from Rowan's Story Book of Little Knits. In both instances the yarn is Berroco Comfort, subbed for the intended yarn.
I finished my swatches for Knitter's Review Retreat class, and then arrived in Williamstown just before dinnertime without them.They were exactly where I'd left them when I'd wandered around the house saying "I know I am forgetting something. What am I forgetting?". My options were to drive the 3 hours home and back again to get the swatches thereby missing dinner, or eviscerate the finished sample bag project and use those swatches for demonstration. I chose the latter, and stayed for dinner. More about KRR later, and how much you wish you were there, and how much I hope I can go back again.
I started a sweater out of Lorna's Laces Swirl DK (currently at Webs as a close out, get it while you can, it's really perfect for what it ended up becoming!) - this was not close to what I intended to do with this yarn.(Still unblocked, because some changes need to be made) In fact even as I cast on I was not sure where I was going with it, but then I found myself making a top-down raglan baby-sized sweater, and then a shawl collar appeared. Then I found, yesterday while shopping with Kristen, the perfect buttons. So now I HAVE to take out the sleeves and make them wider. if the buttons were less adorable, the too-skinny sleeve would not bother me as much. But now, well, proportionally they have to be changed! This is the hazard of patternless knitting I think. I don't even really have measurements, it's al by eye and proportion and what I remember of round soft small bodies. Not a note taken, not a baby measured. But it looks like it'll fit one anyway, maybe in the 6 month range of things. Since there's no intended recipient, who knows?
I made two monkeys, we little funky ones although a bit sullen from a lack of face, from the leftovers from two pair of socks.The yarn is Blue Moon Fiber Arts STR heavyweight in Blue Brick Wall and....I Dunno. It was a mill-end. We have the kit which I bought for Girl at Sock Summit. I fell for the idea of wee monkeys and if she does not hurry up and get to work on the big one, I may have to make it myself as they are ADORABLE. I assume they will grace the tops of Christmas gifts for two certain small people this year. Well, once they have faces. Right now they just looked peeved.
I made a pair of Distraction Mittens out of the leftovers from the KRR swatches. I don't have a pattern for this either, I just cast on and started knitting and when the cuffs were a certain size I put them on my wrists and said "Huh. Mittens" and it went from there. Eventually, there were mittens that fit, oddly enough, me. I cal them distraction mittens because I needed one at the moment I cast them on, and they did their job admirably. The yarn is Valley Yarns Northampton, the color is Bright Pink, and the pattern could, I supposed, be written up is you're interested. It could also be sized to fit more than just me. But I'd need a sample knitter for that.
I started a pair of socks in Valley Yarns Franklin on Clover needles - more about this later.The pattern is simple and lacy and leafy which is a perfect compliment to the colorway. I love Gail's colors. You can get them at Webs, or you can find colors Webs doesn't have at Etsy. You just can't go wrong.
Every year Mr. Wonderful's employer gives out turkeys on the Thursday before Thanksgiving. We had no room in the freezer so he popped it into the fridge. I came home from Knitter's Review Retreat to find a thawed bird waiting for me. It was a commercial bird and had one of those pop-up "thermometer" things. I never use them, but for some reason this time I did this time. I put him (or her) into my big roaster, stuffed the thing with aromatics (onion, leek, carrot, parsley), wrapped tinfoil tightly over the top, and walked away from the slow (300 degree) oven. This is not how I generally cook a turkey. I most often brine them for 24 hours and pay attention to the cooking process, handy probe thermometer at the ready, everyone aware that dinner will be "when it's done" and a clock will not be watched. I had no attachment to this bird, however, so low and slow worked for me. I assumed that the little poppy thing would let me know when it was done. The smell of roasting turkey filled the house, and all was well. For a very long time. Hours and hours. More hours than seemed right, really. It looked very done to me, and yet the poppy thing did not pop. I was being horribly negligent. I got sick of checking. I walked away. At about 6pm I opened the oven and discovered that not only had the poppy thing finally popped, but the bird was so done as to be falling apart before my eyes. Every single joint disintegrated when I poked at it with a table fork. And it was swimming in what appeared to be a half gallon or so of liquid. This, I think, is the disclaimer on the package that says "some water added"? Regardless, he tasted pretty good. For days. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Two people+one good-sized turkey=piles of leftovers. I made stock to freeze. I bagged meat for the freezer. And still it lingered, the plastic storage box stuffed with sliced turkey. It felt endless, that pile of meat. At long last we managed to empty the thing, with the last 1/2 cup of shreds going to Boo (old and blind has it's privileges). And then we went to my mother in law's for dinner Thursday and had...more turkey. Yesterday I went to the freezer and grabbed the first thing that came to hand - anything but turkey - I pulled out a whole chicken. And sighed. More poultry? But then I did this:

MMO's Slow Cooker Tired of Turkey Thai Chicken

3 qt crock pot
7-8 hours on low (reduce cooking time to 4-5 hours if using a thawed bird)

Into the pot place:
Small whole roasting chicken (I used one of my own, about 3 lbs he was, and still frozen when he went in)
1 leek, white and some green, chopped
3/4 cup of chopped carrots, unpeeled (if organic). Don't waste the micro nutrients! if they're conventional, peel them. Who knows what's on them.

In a medium sized mixing bowl combine the following:
1/2 cup Peanut Butter & Co. The Heat is On peanut butter
1/4 cup soy sauce
2T ketchup
2T Sriracha sauce (optional. The fam felt that this could have been left out, but then they are wimps. I like it hot.)
2T red current jelly
2 tsp Thai fish sauce

Mix well. Add 1 1/2 cup of water and stir until blended. Pour over chicken and vegetables in the crock pot. Cover and cook on low until the meat falls from the bone. Serve over brown rice. Yum.

If you try it, let me know how it worked for you. Curious am I about these things - will they work for other people? Ketchup and current jelly? What was I thinking? Or WAS I thinking? Most recipes I make are out of my head. Sometimes they get repeated, sometimes I forget to write them down, sometimes I don't measure a thing and have no clue. A lot like my knitting, really...

Knitter: "Oh...that's cute! Where can I get the pattern?"
Me: "Uhhh. Ummmm. Uh. Mmm. Uh...."

The barn grows, sometimes exponentially, at other times so slowly I want to kick and scream.There is a loft. No kidding, a LOFT. For storing brooder lamps and hay and shavings and waterers and feeders not currently in use. Now my thoughts run to ducks and heritage turkeys. I think there's room, if I do it right. A small spot for ducks, a bigger one for turkeys. Everyone on range during the day, locked in at night. An avian dream come true. I used to have a cockatoo and a small parrot. I love birds. Having birds that don't just fly around the house and poop on the carpet and chew the window trim and scream at 2am* (Goffin's, yes, really they do. I think they're the only psittacine known for screaming in the dark) has been a blessing, and I don't use that word lightly. They fill multiple purposes here. They feed me, entertain me, make me get up in the morning - the dogs do that, too. Having had some kind of fowl present for more than ten years, I just can't imagine life any other way.
I mean really. How could you resist this?Checking out the new digs. Their endless curiosity, so charming to me, is not endearing them to the contractor however, and they've been pretty much banned from the barn during construction. Soon they can move in, bags and baggage and maybe an egg or two.
Now the promise, I put it down here in the hopes that no one will see it so if I fail it'll be all good...I am going to try to blog about Knitter's Review Retreat and a few other FO's and such, and I will if anyone's interested, size and write up the mittens and share them (for a nominal fee, maybe $3?). I promise. Honest. Really, I do.


*I adored my 'Too and was heartbroken when she died. She was charming, companionable, adorable, gregarious and at times downright cuddly - and we have the pictures to prove it. She was free-flying in our house, so wandered from room to room with us, ate meals with us and was always a part of our flock. I don't, as a rule, approve of parrots as pets. I think they belong in the wild whenever possible. This bird was a rescue. She'd been wild-caught, probably illegally imported, then failed to breed when mated by her human captors to another Goffin's 'Too. As neither of the "pair" was ever DNA sexed, it's possible that they were same-gender and incapable of producing anything but clear eggs. Her "failure" to produce meant that the people who imported her had no further use for her and she was pawned off on the first available home and ultimately she ended up with me. I had her twice. First, prior to my divorce when her "mate" and she still shared a cage and before I'd read about parrots and behavior - she eventually killed her "mate", a total fail on my part, two cages would have saved "him" - and the second time after I had gotten back on my feet and she was able to return to me. At that point I did a lot of research. She had a giant Macaw-sized cage (which I still have), tons of stimulus, a play gym made from pvc pipe that rolled from room to room, lots of attention and love and an educated handler. I swear she remembered me. There was crying on my end and snuggling on hers, with her head in my neck and her wings spread out across me in some kind of hug. I miss her and the birds in my yard soften that a little. And yes she screamed in the middle of the night, and after some reading of Goffin's specific literature I found out that some can have night terrors. She was more or less quiet during the day; a little loud if she felt ignored, or playfully vocal in the early morning or evening which is normal for birds, or if we were dancing. If you've never danced with a cockatoo, I highly recommend it. But sometimes in the dead of night and for no apparent reason she would scream like a house afire, covered or uncovered, loved or not. Just something anyone considering parrot-as-pet should be aware of, along with "needs LOTS of stimulation, LOTS of destructable toys, a safe space for sleeping, and LOTS of good food, supplements, water, attention, affection, love, and time". And if you leave out ANYTHING on that list I guarantee you'll get more screaming, biting, feather-plucking and misery than you thought possible from a silly old bird, and it will be entirely of your own doing and you will have no one to blame but yourself.

If I were any farther behind, I'd have caught up to myself by now.

...in which we briefly glide over Sheepin and Woolin in New Hampshire...With Side Trips to Maine and Connecticut.
Look! I remembered that I have a blog!
Every Mother's Day will find me at the New Hampshire Sheep and Wool Festival. This is not a new tradition for us. This year was difficult for me, as it was my first Mother's Day without a kid at home. Girl was in Indiana, finishing up the semester. Dan is old. Eric and Brendon are old. None of them understand the lure of sheep dogs and wool. Brendon came by on Saturday with a gift, and stayed to play cards and eat Chinese...but there's something about Mother's Day with Girl at a sheep and wool that really makes the day for me. So I knew going in that it would be a tough day.We tried to have fun, and were successful. Mr. Wonderful did refuse to wear the braided Girl-wig and Girl-hoodie with knock-off Birk sandals. Nor did he jump around getting excited over felting supplies and sheep dogs, while saying things like "Mom, you totally need that!", but he did his level best, I am certain. AND he let me shop, even if by accident! We began with breakfast - Fage yogurt with honey and apple for mealong with a Chai from Shelburne Falls Coffee Roasters. He had the Day-Old Goo in a Pile there - something cinnamon-y and chocolate croissant. These were well received.We found the Tsock Tsarina, Lisa, first and I bought my long-coveted Vintage Leaf kit. It was a close call, that or Imbas really. But I figured something could wait till Cummington, right? Mr. Wonderful never even saw it coming. He made the crucial mistake of wandering off, thereby failing to prevent my little shopping accident. Then we had lamb, or I had lamb, and he had french fries. The lamb stuff was in a cup with tsatsiki sauce and was excellent. Very, very yum. We wandered around a bit. I bought Girl a spindle at Foxfire Fiber and said hello to Barb Parry, who had a busy morning signing a certain awesome new dye book - that would be her newly released Teach Yourself Visually Hand-Dyeing, for those who haven't heard of it. I don't think signing books ever gets old. I always say I'll sign anything, except a blank check. It's fun meeting people and chatting about something we all love, whether it's dyeing or knitting or spinning or crochet or what have you. Heck, you can also talk to me about chickens, gardens, bees, and now wine making (but I'm saving that for another post).We entered the raffle, which we do every year, and I won a lovely basket that I can't show you because I loaned it out for the photo shoot for the book before I took it's picture. But trust me, it is lovely. While we were dropping raffle tickets in buckets with hope in our hearts, we found Mary Alice and her friend Deanna. Mary Alice was easily convinced that raffle tickets were a good thing. She's more convinced now and will be hooked for life, since after the raffle she came away with a car full of winnings! Really!! I don't remember now how many items she won, but she won a LOT!
We watched dogs run, which I have always loves to do. I took some video for Girl, so she'd feel like she had been right there with us.Then we headed into our traditional "last building", located right near the kettle corn guy. I bought a lovely basket from The Children's Initiative. All funds go directly toward helping kids in Ethiopia, Vietnam and Honduras. I contemplated a huge basket for Mervin or Dazee, figuring they could fight it out. Maybe next year.We found Leslie Wind, who gifted me one of her really lovely new seaming needles. Just beautiful. It makes me happy just to hold it, AND it works, so double bonus.She shares her booth with Ball and Skein. Meg bought me sock yarn here last year, and I felt I needed to buy more in remembrance...so I did (oh, please, twist my arm to get me to buy the sock yarn, right??). I selected one skein of Arbori merino silk, dyed in this lovely iced purple and black colorway called Purple Haze. I love how tencel resists dye just enough to give it that frosted appearance.
The following weekend (wow. I have not posted in a while, have I?) Mr. Wonderful and I headed for Maine to teach a class on 2-at-a-Time Socks at Halcyon Yarns in Bath, Maine.
We headed out route 101, which is our traditional method of getting north into Maine and New Hampshire.
Dublin Lake...this is probably why we take 101. We can see the mountain (Monadnock), the lake, the drive is just plain pretty.We arrived in Maine just in time - thanks to my GPS, which is another post, possibly involving small arms and the firing thereof at small electronics - for my book signing at 4pm. I signed a few books, ate some yummy fresh vegetables, and had a delightful time with a certain little girl who's insistence that her mom did NOT have my book resulted in probably my favorite 2AAT Socks story to date. And I got to meet Jean in Maine from Ravelry in person, after the wonderful local Maine gift bag she'd left for me on a visit to Webs. While I signed books Mr. W. took a bike and cruised around town, finding things he had to show me once the signing was completed. First, the Bath Iron Works which covers a huge chunk of coast with these very large objects. How large? Well. In the picture below you can see the white peaked-roof raft there? Just a run of the mill raft?Can you find it here as well? Seriously huge toys we're talking about.He showed me a few other sights as well. The charming streets and shops of Bath, the waterfront dog park that I think would give Dazee and Boo a joyful heart attack, and the lovely homes scattered along the coast.
On Saturday morning I headed back to Halcyon to teach eager learners all about knitting socks 2 at one time on one long circular needle. I think I cut three knitters, or four, out of this image, and I am sorry for that. Also note that in this picture they appear happy and joyful? That's because I haven't hit them with the hard stuff yet. We're still at coffee-and-attendance-sheets here. See Deb (Lose The Mittens) and her mom Judy on the right? And way down at the end of the table is a family that began with three eager learners, and ended with one eager learner and two wise women saying "She'll show us later, that's why we brought her!"I am sorry I can't remember everyone's name, but you were truly an awesome, wonderful, welcoming and eager group and I would come back in a heartbeat! Many, many thanks to Halcyon and Denice for inviting me. What a wonderful group of knitters. The shop is expansive. I bought some Peace Fleece, and a Dale baby book after I saw this jumper displayed in the store. Must...knit...wee...jumper...
Mr. Wonderful took me to Popham Beach. Just lovely. The rugosas are everywhere and make me want to return in June/July to see them in force. Just a beautiful Maine beach...of course tourist-free I always think they're more lovely, and I don't think I've been to a beach during "the season" in so long I've forgotten what it feels like to lay in the sun all day with other tourists!Loved this guy. He was awesome, and very busy with his crab. Mine, mine, mine!
All beach visits require that I get my feet wet, regardless of season or current weather.We stopped at Fort Popham for a quick look around, and then headed south. I loved this sign, and would have stopped for lunch if they'd been open. How can you resist "Wells House of Pizza and Roast Beef"??
We stopped at Ogunquit, which we love, and ambled some more.And Stonewall Kitchen in Kittery, which may as well be called "lunch". I bought some grill sauces, and sea salt, and a few wee mustards. I love their mustards, especially the maple and the champagne.I lusted after this lovely lazy susan made from an old oak wine barrel lid. Each has a different wine and winery name. If the man had said yes I could have spent an hour just choosing a vintage, so really it's better that he said no. I did get a really nice hot sauce, Habanero Mango. Nice sweet and hot balance. I love hot stuff.I resisted this delightful charmer Mr. Wonderful found, but it was by a hare's breadth. He found this at a kitchen outlet store in Kittery. It comes complete with it's own outhouse. For later.
On Sunday morning as we ambled further south I was saddened to discover that Yoken's on route 1 in Portsmouth (Thar she blows!) is totally gone. Now, I don't think we ever ate here, but that isn't the point. And I knew they had closed since the last time we were up the building was gone. When I was a kid the place was mobbed, always. Packed parking lot. The sign has some kind of significance to my wee little brain, and I am sad to see it going, too.
All the way to and from Maine I worked feverishly on a pair of socks for the cover of the new book. Monday was the photo shoot in Lakeville, CT for the technique section of the book. Last time I didn't go to the photo shoot, but this time I really wanted to be there. Here's Gwen and Mary (the brilliant art director who's penchant for paisley prints has made my little heart sing and my eyes leak a bit with great joy and delight but the rest of you just have to wait till it comes out to see why!) and Kathy Brock, one of my most excellent editors pondering a shot taken by photographer John Gruen. This was a great glimpse into a really interesting part of the process.Basically shooting the technique involves stuffing a hand model, in this case KT, in a box and taking very detailed step-by-step shots of every single step of the process of casting on and knitting 2 socks at one time, in this case toes up. Checking for accuracy, clarity, presentation of each individual photo takes a lot of patience and time. Really, really glad that I have stubby little fingers, let me tell you. KT was very patient. I don't think I could have sat there for all those hours without coming unhinged. At one point we ever discussed cutting off her left thumb, which she seemed ok with - anything so it looks right!Therapy for claustrophobia, right?

I came home that evening to discover that Corinne's rhododendron had bloomed. Corinne was my mother's former neighbor and a nurse with whom I worked when I was in school who struggled valiantly against cancer and lost her battle shortly after my mother lost her house. She and her husband Ron had given my mother the rhodo after it seemed unwilling to bloom in their yard. It's bloomed ever since her death, even after multiple moves. Every spring I am reminded of her courage and valor in the face of a disease that ended her life well ahead of what the rest of us would consider "time", of her husband standing by her side steadfast when so many men run from end of life illnesses in the women they love, unable to bear the pain of watching that person being taken from you inch by inch. Yes, men. Statistically men will leave an ill and dying wife much, much more often than a woman will leave an ill and dying husband. You can surmise why. I believe everything happens for a reason, but this death tested that belief. She was young, vital, and a dedicated nurse. There is never a right time to die, I don't think, for those of us left behind. Sometimes the person who's dying is ready, but I don't think we ever are. The rhododendron reminds me of her; of her amazing compassion, dedication to her patients; her love and understanding. She was an amazing woman and a fantastic nurse.
And is missed, still.