Good Girl, Bad Girl

You tell me which....

I went to the store for the sole purpose of obtaining three things: work for Girl to do, Girl's payment for work finished, and a toe-up sock pattern.

I came home with 12 balls of Noro Silk Garden and a bag of Berkshire Bulky, a toe up sock patterns Iris wrote just for the self striping sock yarn which is exactly what I need it for, Girl's pay and more work for Girl. Now really...was I a good girl or a bad girl? I lean toward good. I managed to get everything that was on my list! And I hardly shopped at all!! And after all, I did spend an hour on the bike this morning.

This is how I figure it....The Berk is a gift for someone. Knitted up, not in the raw. I like to give gifts. It makes me feel all warm and cozy. And this is for someone who's very important to me, and who will appreciate the work, which we all know is a rarity. The Noro is for me. I want to crochet a jacket for my 39th birthday in February. This seems to me perfectly reasonable. I'm cute, I like silk, I'm looking at my kids and realizing that I am no longer...how shall I put this? YOUNG. That's the word I was looking for. It will require the purchase of a book, but hey, what's one more book (one more or less...) Let's pretend that 39 is some kind of milestone, like 40 only smaller (no diamonds or sunlit vacations, but still worthy of note). We'll call it "almost 40", and make it a big deal. In that case, 12 balls of Noro for a 39th birthday is practically piddling!! It's a drop of nothing!! I do not understand why 40, or the onset of 40 is in any way disruptive to me. 30 was a lark, a walk in the park. I enjoyed it. I could not figure out what the fuss was all about. 40...well, now this is a different story. And I think I know why. I will be 40 when Megan turns 19. I am turning 39 as she hits 18. Gene and I have a two year old grandson. Our oldest is 29. We keep saying 25, but he's really not 25. He's going to be 30, which makes my husband "almost 50" which is why, I think, we keep wishfully saying Brendon's 25. It's too many milestones in one path at one time. I will spin it happy by crocheting a wildly hot pink and orange jacket, which I will wear on my birthday, on which I have scheduled a baby shower for my best friend who is, at 36, having her first child. Did I mention too many milestones? I had my first child at 18. See my dilemma? Am I old, or am I young? I feel young. But logically, if I have a grandson and "the baby" is nearing 20, I must be old? Too confusing. Maybe for my 39th I should have a martini instead of a crocheted jacket. Better yet, a margarita while wearing the crocheted jacket. Preferably in Mexico. Surrounded by young, hot guys who cannot take their eyes off of me. (read: "well paid")

Girls car has been repaired for $90, much less than she'd fantasized about - welcome to "the real world" we've all been talking about - buy a cat for $120 of hard-earned savings, take over the insurance payments of your first very own car, and your first very own car breaks down on the spot. This is the way the world works sometimes. But look at him...he's so worth it. And Girl is lucky to have a grandfather who was born with a wrench in one hand and a welder in the other. While he was here he asked Girl to check her oil, which was bone dry. He then turned to me...the youngest of four daughters born to a man who I think would have liked just one boy...a man who has sternly lectured me on the importance of checking one's oil before the cute little red light comes on...also bone dry. Sigh. Car maintenance is just not my thing. If I can't knit it, I'm really not interested.

So was I good or bad?

Still messing with the template. I am not sure how I feel about the modular bit at the top. I like the idea but need better software to manipulate it as I'd like to. I have plans...I will play more with colors soon. It amuses me. It is dangerous as it takes time away from knitting, but then they tell me there is more to life than knitting. Don't ask me what. I said THEY said, not me!