Monday, October 01, 2007

Dear Mr. Wonderful

I love you. You know that I love you. I might even use words/phrases like "adore" and "suffer from extreme co-dependecy with" and possibly "cannot live without but would adjust if I had to". But somedays it is difficult to live with you when you don't understand the simplest things about my life, what I do, and who I am. When I say things like "I need a Bohus kit." the response "You already have yarn." is not appropriate. Wrong answer, honey. Yes. I have yarn. I have lots and lots and lots of yarn. I am lousy with it. I could provide enough socks out of stash to last both of us into the nursing home. I have enough sweater-projects in stash to keep us clothed into eternity. But I do not have yarn hand dyed by a Norwegian woman in her mudroom in a sausage cooker in the perfect shades of Bohus, made from rabbit and sheep, that knits at the right gauge for a correct Bohus. You are, in short, KILLING ME with your refusal to comprehend why I need to spend $200 on More Yarn. I will try to explain.
This is Bohus.

Well, actually it's not exactly Bohus, but that's another story. This is Bohus:

This is yarn I don't have. It's yarn unlike any yarn I own, except for the wristlet kit I got yesterday. This is yarn that only comes from Norway. It is only available from one place on earth - well, two if you include the museum. But still it's yarn that isn't available at Webs for store credit if I just whip out another design or two. It's not yarn I can get on sale. It's not something I can just spin up either, so don't even go there, because I can see a glimmer of hope forming. I could spin it, but I could never get the colors right. I can't make, beg, borrow or steal this yarn. It has to be bought with kroners at the current exchange rate from someone in Norway. And this is yarn I NEED. I know you don't totally get the "need" yarn thing. Let me find a way to make it relevent to you.
OK - you think you "need" this, right?
And let's not even mention the other one in the garage that you need more, and that cost more. So let's pretend, just for the hell of it, that those two things (one shown, one too shy for the camera) that you "need" are yarn. Let's say they're Bohus yarn. Those two things you need?? They equal about 20 Bohus kits. TWENTY. And that's at the price you paid for the damn things, not their actual value. If we're going by value then I think 40 kits would be more appropriate. Just so you see my point. So if you want to know where your bikes are, well, when the 40 Bohus sweater kits (or 80 mitten and scarf sets) you're buying me arrive from Norway, I'll give them back.
Enough of him. That man who's made me sad by not spoiling me at the level I would prefer to be accustomed. That man who thinks money does NOT grow on trees (who tells him these things???)
This weekend I was priviledged to sit in on two classes led by Susanna Hansson - The Mittens of Rovaniemi on Saturday and Bohus Stickning on Sunday. I was VERY happy to be able to convince Mary to attend Saturday class and am even more excited that she's hooked. I liked the mitten class, and I find the technique compelling. No sharing though - later this winter (Jan/Feb) you can buy a copy of Piecework magazine and find out all about it. Also in attendance were knit bloggers Tamara, Lisa, Carol, Sara, Laura and Teresa, and ravelers MsKhofhinn(Laura), LizzyJaine (Liz, former student who suffered for two days with itchy allergy eyes that would have sent a lesser woman packing) and Lizzieknits (Lani).
On Sunday Eliza-who-works-at-Webs arrived, carrying her two personal Bohus sweaters purchased for her by her mother in Norway in the 50's when she was a kid. And she actually wore them. "With everything..." she said, and into her 30's she recalls. They're unbelievably pristine considering the abuse they must have suffered at the hands of a teenager. I love Girl, but cannot imagine her being as careful with a garment as young Eliza apparently was. I have been fascinated by the Bohus tradition since I read Poems of Color. My obsession is multi-pronged. The artistry, the use of purl stitches to hide some colors while popping others, the amazing use of some pretty dramatic colors that you'd never expect to see, and really don't see unless you're eyeball to eyeball with the garment or the charts...and the story; the history. Women helping their families survive at a time when jobs for the men had dried up; knitting sweaters after the day's chores were done...I just love the appeal of that story. The dedication of Emma Jacobssen to a project she probably wasn't at first remotely interested in but felt duty bound to initiate, sacrificing her personal goals for the greater good. And these are not "just sweaters". This is high fashion, couture created in little farmhouses all over Norway. I highly, highly, highly recommend this class. I begged for it based on the theory that I'd never get far enough from home to take anything with Susanna. Now we need Lucy Neatby and Debbie New. And Cat Bordhi. And and and....and I'll let you know when the 40 sweater (or 80 scarf and hat) kits arrive from Norway. Um. But don't hold your breath. If you want to help my cause, you can vote in the coments section - Should Mr. Wonderful let Melissaknits get at least one Bohus kit, yes or no?

**After many requests, we have BLACK 2-at-a-time shirts in the Cafe Press shop! It's also available in red.**


dianna rubidge said...

If Mr. Wonderful can ignore your valid sensible points backed with practical examples then I do doubt if he will listen to my wild cry of BOHUS!BOHUS! -essential for survival.


Dianna from sk

mary alice said...

Bah! We Bohus deprived are in a high funk of sulks and will not comment!

Kristi said...

I think that holding bicycles hostage is a very logical solution.

Well, as logical as yarn desires go. Which isn't very...but I empathize!

Kathy said...

Since I am unable to help in any other way than a vote, I am in favor of the purchase. It should be sanctioned. Yes, you may have a lot of yarn, but geez, when was the last time you actually paid full retail for yarn??

Besides, there's a certain important date (well, two actually) coming up in a couple of months that should be celebrated with a gift of some sort. . . .you know, either a very expensive shiney something or a $160 bohus kit. Seems logical to me. . . ..

ponyknit said...

Bohus Bohus!!!
(Are you listening Mr. Wonderful?)

Yarnhog said...

Repeat after me: "It is easier to get forgiveness than permission." Say it again. Live it.

But since you have already blown it with the Bohus thing: Hey, Mr. Wonderful! We love you, but you just aren't getting it, here. This is not a sweater; it is a work of art waiting to happen. You don't stand in the way of art. Cough up the dough. Pretty please.

Gammy aka Peggy said...

Absolutely, at least one!!!!

Anonymous said...

You mean that Mr. Wonderful spent $4000 on a bicycle?!?!?

You definitely should be allowed a Bohus kit.

marcy said...

hello, what are you waiting for? why do we need to justify our need for bohus or, say, sock clubs?? (yes, melissa, i had a similar conversation...a sock club...what do you get for that $200.) it gives us pleasure playing with the yarn and the sooner these guys realize it the better off they'll be. enough said. we could have worse vices!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melissa said...

I do believe that you deserve at least five bohus in celebration of your soon to be published book. ::nods:: You hear that Mr. Wonderful?

Tipper said...

What are those men thinking, not spoiling us rotten?? I like your toy/yarn conversion system and may use it myself.

Amber said...

I just think Webs should carry kits since they did a class, then we can both get them ;)

Lisa said...

Dear Mr. Wonderful:

It has come to my attention that you feel the purchase of a Bohus kit is not in the best interest of your household at this time.

Though I understand your motivation in making this decision, I feel you have overlooked a significant, though unquantifiable, factor, to wit:

If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

For the sake of peace in your domestic kingdom, I do hope you reconsider this decision.

Persnickety said...

Any chance you'll add the Jr. Jersey T-Shirt in black (or a dark color)?

Let me know if you end up actually ordering a kit. I might do a scarf or something small.

MadMad said...

I *need* a Bohus, too! And my husband also has a bike (two) I could hold hostage. What a great idea!