Friday, June 08, 2007

I So Lied

It's a rare occurance that I lie. You can ask my kids. Lying is a big no-no around me. But I admit it, I lied. Amazon is nice and all. But proof pages? That's a whole new level. I wish there was some kind of Author Response Warning System. I wish someone had sat me down and said "OK, when you finish the manuscript you will completely forget the name, size, weight and color of every sock in the book. You will become addicted to toe-up socks and not even conside a top-down sock for weeks. Maybe even months. Then, it will seem for a long time as if you never wrote a book, that it was all just some kind of dream. The hours of insanity, the threatning of your husband and remaining child, the dog's swollen bladder, the ignoring of dust and grime will all become a distant memory and you will try to move forward with your design life. Moments will remind you - emails from the editor, emails from the other editor, questions from friends, family and acquaintances. But really it'll feel pretty flat for a while. You'll go to BEA and someone will write Exhibitor Author on your shirt like they mean it. That will be the first clue. Find a place to sit, and call your husband and cry a little. That's a good moment. Next you'll see your cover for the first time and you'll get all teary and feel warm and happy. Then you'll be on Amazon - and we all know you're an Amazon shopper, so that'll feel pretty big. But wait, Miss Bossy Britches, 'cause it ain't over yet. It's barely getting up steam! Your editor will send you an email. She'll say something really casual like 'Hi, Melissa. We're going to have some sample pages out to you by the end of the week.'
When the envelope comes, take your time opening it. For fun, expect 3 or 4 pages to fall out. This will be a moment to savor. Let the whole thing, all 141 pages, just slide out into your hands. Try to remember to breathe. The first page won't push you too far over the edge. It's an endpaper with a title on it, no big deal. But turn it, slowly. See the dedication page? Now you'll bawl."

That's about it in a nutshell, folks. A proof copy, in my hands, in my home. This is IT, this is MY book, MY BOOK. (Did you HEAR that?? My book!)I'd show you more...but don't you want to wait for the real thing? Can you imagine it?? Bound and spiralled and secure in a hardcover?

I just thought of one small drawback. I am probably going to have to dres like a grown-up forever now, aren't I?
I have to go objectively and maturely read my book, making marks as I go - although I am limiting the marking to the white borders only, anything else would be, well..it would be a desecration, man!

In totally other news, Girl made me do this. It's very bizarre, I did not know they let anyone over 30 join up, but so far no one has kicked me off. I am torn between it being another way to talk to people, and another thing requiring my attention. More will be revealed.

4 comments:

Yarnhog said...

Well, first, I'm not sure whether I'm annoyed at being tricked into visiting MySpace for the first time. Don't you have to dress like Brittney Spears or something? Cause those c-section scars and stuff could be off-putting if I have to wear a cropped t-shirt.

And second--AWESOME! You must be unbelievably proud of your new baby (the book, I mean, the book). How utterly cool.

Persnickety Knitter said...

Yeah, I created a MySpace account a while ago. I was encouraged to do so by the teenage nieces & nephew people. I thought it would be a good way to keep in touch with them, since they never seem to check their email. Well, it DOESN'T work well for me as a way to keep in touch. It seems primitive and stupid (imho). And now I get annoying emails from random strangers wanting to be my friend. I say "bah, humbug" to MySpace.

Oh, and those proof pages look great. I can't wait to see the real thing.

Kathy said...

Ugh - myspace.com? Say it isn't so!

Cannot WAIT to see the book! And have a big party!

The thing about being a grown-up is you can kind of dress as you want. Just remember to wear underwear!

Chicken Betty said...

Knitty! Knitty! Knitty!
I totally understand the bubble thing now. Woot!