Tuesday, April 07, 2020

So today will hopefully be the end of foraging for a while - like a month. The fact that everyone on earth has suddenly apparently switched to soymilk? Y'all are seriously killing my plan.
As a nurse, shopping is changed but manageable. Watching other people, however...I want to give the whole world an inservice. Instead I'll just tell you what I do.
I'm leaving here and plan to hit maybe 3 stores (only if I'm unsuccessful with the first two, really people, just leave me some Westsoy original organic Unsweetened).
I've got 3 masks and 3 sets of gloves. Overkill? Maybe. But to avoid cross contamination I'll take it. No phone. No coffee cup. No food or beverage until I'm back here. No purse. No dangling or loose clothing. No jewelry except simple earrings and my stainless steel wedding band. I wear close fitting clothes and a zip front sweater with two zippered front pockets. One sweater pocket is clean (masks, gloves - the gloves are overkill but they remind my nurse brain to focus). The other is dirty (anything I'll need to touch more than once - credit card, car key, ID). Back left pocket is hand sanitizer. Back right is doc bronner's in case I get lucky enough to find a sink someplace where I don't need to touch a door handle.
Then here's how it rolls :
Dress in clean clothes. Wash hands and face thoroughly with soapy water. Make note to not touch face, ears or neck again until I'm home. Drive to shopping location. Zip sweater - it will stay zipped until after my last stop. Put on a mask and a pair of gloves from clean pocket. Get out of car. Wipe cart if wipes present. Shop. Avoid touching anything except the minimum. Check out, preferably self. Remove card from dirty pocket, pay, return to car. Unlock car with key from dirty pocket. Load stuff into car. Remove dirty gloves turning them inside out and place in tidy pile IN CAR NOT ON THE GROUND, PEOPLE. Remove mask. Sanitize hands thoroughly.
Drive to next location. Sanitize again for fun. Mask and glove from clean pocket. Repeat shop above.
If all goes to plan I'm done now. I may need a third stop. So let's say I've done all three stops. I have, if needed, used a rest room and washed thoroughly with soapy water. Now I'm back at my car, final errands done. Car is loaded. Last time, remove gloves and turn inside out and add to glove pile. Remove mask and add to mask pile.Remove credit card, ID and car key from dirty pocket. Remove zippered sweater being careful not to touch face. Turn sweater wrong side out while removing. Do not shake sweater out. Fold and place next to mask and glove pile. Sanitize hands, key, and cards  thoroughly. Put cleaned cards and key in back pocket. Wipe sanitizer and soap bottles with sanitizer.
Get in car. Drive home. Open trunk. Gather groceries etc and place on porch out of the way of traffic. Wipe down anything solid with 1:9 bleach and water to be hyper-paranoid. Set aside to dry. Throw away bags etc. Sanitize hands.
Return to car and gather sweater and masks in right hand. Enter house with left hand on door knob and stop at laundry room. Place sweater and masks in washer. Strip and place clothes in washer. Squeal and squat down when you remember that window faces the neighbor. Waddle in squatted position to bathroom to avoid scarring neighbors for life and to ensure continued free compost. Shower with warm soapy water.
Dry off. Take deep breath and sing little ditty about cells being happy and well and remind yourself that this too shall pass, and that you did your best. Make tea because you haven't had anything to eat or drink since you left home.
(Also basically insert "do not touch face" between like every sentence...🙄)

2 comments:

Michelle said...

Love it! Also, I had enough soy milk in the house that I haven't needed to restock – until this week. Now I'm a bit worried.

Melissa Morgan-Oakes said...

Michelle - the struggle is real!! I found some and pretty much bought it out - because I am selfish and greedy and I am NOT leaving this house again for a month!!