I never wanted a cell phone, a computer, or the internet. I never even wanted cable TV. I remember when my ex bought our first vcr. Didn't want that either. I remember every step along the way the same way I remember the compromises I made about food...I wanted to be vegan. No one else did. So I gave in, made the deal to keep the peace.
What I should have done was pack my shit and my kids and go find like-minded people in the woods, but then I probably would have become a dangerous conspiracy theorist with lots of guns.
Oops.
So now it's the plant based revolution online, and Brittany Kaiser's book Targeted, and the Center for Humane Technology...and still this tiny computer in my hand (and an iPad so handy for painting off of, and a MacBook to write museum articles, and the cloud to store my photos.)
Is it too late to throw my phone in the river? Too late to go back to paper and pens?
Probably. There has to be a middle ground in which I'm not feeding the data machine, and the data machine isn't controlling me.
How did we get here? 9/11? Patriot act, hand over any stitch of privacy we ever thought we had...and we nearly landed ourselves in the same fascist setting that killed millions of Jews? Or did it begin long before that?
And we aren't out of the woods by a long shot.
Just how many choices have I made in the last two decades that were really and truly my own? Specifically the last ten years...I feel like they've been stolen.
Choices. Delusional belief that we are actually free.
We're not. We've been sold to psy-ops. We just have to figure out how to buy ourselves back. How hard can that be. Right?
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