One Year Ago on Rhinebeck Weekend

I haven't done a Rhinebeck recap because this has been a very busy and exciting time around here. I am writing a book, working a lot, my mother has been unwell in fits and spurts, we lost a dog, my son joined the Army - it's been a sort of endless year of up and down and craziness. But this is a very special weekend here, and so I want to share.

One year and two weeks ago, give or take a day, as I sat at the Wild Fibers dinner surrounded by friends, I got a text from my daughter conveying some very exciting news. Her oldest step-brother had asked the girl of his dreams - and ours - to marry him. And she said yes. Even though she knows him. Even though she has met all of us - and I do mean all - in this insane blended family we have built.

This is Brendon.

He's the oldest of four, or the oldest of two, depending on the day and which house he is in. He's the leader of the pack. The first to shave, the first to get a license, the first to graduate from anything, and the first drive me right up a freaking wall.

When I say we're an unusual family I do not exaggerate. First his parents were married and rearing he and his brother and then they were not married any more. I was married to someone else and had two kids of my own, and then I was no longer married.

(Brendon, Eric, Gene aka Mr. Wonderful)

In the end we found each other and we blended this crew into some sort of family.

When his father and I got together he was about 12. I was about 24, and Gene was about 30. Brendon's biological brother, Eric, was 7. My kids, Dan and Meg, were 5 and 3. I don't know what we were thinking when we decided to make this all work. Well, I do know what we were thinking. I think we were in love, we knew this was huge for both of us, and we decided that hell or high water we would make it work. The kids were no where near as accommodating as we might have liked. They all came into this new family with their own varied baggage.

(Brendon, Eric, Dan and Meg)

But blend they did, and in the end they formed a pretty reasonable if motley group with Brendon at the head. And I love them all, and they are all mine. And I mean that.

Because he was the oldest and the first to do all of the fun stuff, he was also the first to leave home. He was the first to leave pieces of himself behind in our lives and head off into the world to make a new life all on his own. We watched and sometimes worried and waited a lot for reassurance, and in the end it came. This bird fledged and made it look easy. The rest would have a tough act to follow. College, a good job, and in the end the right partner to share his life. And we are so very proud.

This is Selina.

(Selina at her Bridal Shower)

Brendon brought Selina into our lives a while back. His last girlfriend had been a very nice girl and we all liked her. What, we wondered, would this new girl be like? Girlie? Tomboy? Rugged? Dainty?

Selina is, and I do not lie, perfect for him. She is game and energetic, joyful and sweet, and a pleasure to be around. She's smart, witty, charming and unbelievably adorable. She can be a girlie girl when the situation warrants, but will cheerfully ditch the heels for a pair of jeans and a romp through the woods after a bear.

From a small family and with one sibling - and parents married only to each other since before she was born - what on earth would she make of the chaos and craziness that is our family? We worried. Would she run? Make for the door? Really, who wouldn't?

(Rachel, Eric, Aidan, Brendon, Selina, Megan, Jeroth - Christmas 2008)

But she stayed. In spite of the insanity that is this family, and in spite of the handful that is Brendon, she stayed. And then the text came, at the Wild Fibers dinner, the text that said that she wasn't just staying for now. She was staying for real. The girl said yes. 

Tomorrow Brendon and Selina will join their lives in marriage. We're proud, we're thrilled, we're beside ourselves. We're adding a daughter to our crew, and we could not be happier. We could not have chosen a better partner for him if we'd searched the world over. And the best news? Check this out people....

SHE KNITS.